


It's Not Pretend

by delusioninabox



Series: Moms of Ineffable Idiots (in Love) [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Aziraphale Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Fluff, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Mutual Pining, Prom, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delusioninabox/pseuds/delusioninabox
Summary: Aziraphale asks Crowley to pretend to be his date for prom. This is that story...but from the perspective of their moms.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Moms of Ineffable Idiots (in Love) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744594
Comments: 25
Kudos: 133





	It's Not Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> This is for everyone who liked my previous fic [Growing Up](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096220), which was also from their moms' POV. This can be read as a continuation (though several months later) or on its own! I've made a series in case I write more. This one is basically a whole fake dating fic condensed down into only the scenes with their moms. 😂 And boy was it so much fun to write!!!

> **Lily:** Something is wrong with my son
> 
> **Lily:** He’s doing his homework
> 
> **Lily:** And smiling while he does it
> 
> **Lily:** SMILING
> 
> **Elizabeth:** 👀 👀 👀 👀
> 
> **Lily:** Anything on your end?
> 
> **Elizabeth:** Unknown. Aziraphale is at the library.
> 
> **Lily:** Do I say something?? Do I ask??
> 
> **Elizabeth:** YES
> 
> **Elizabeth:** INVESTIGATE
> 
> **Elizabeth:** REPORT BACK
> 
> **Lily:** ROGER

***

“So...,” Lily began, sliding into a seat across the kitchen table from her son. “Someone seems in a good mood.”

Anthony glanced up from his paper. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “I guess.”

“You guess?” She rested her head on one hand. “Something happen? Or...someone?”

“What happened to ‘you’re entitled to your privacy’?” He picked up his papers and brought them to his chest. “I _thought_ I’d be nice by doing my homework down here, but if you’d rather I do it upstairs, alone, in my room...” He turned away in his chair and tilted his head.

“Okay, okay, okay,” she said, throwing up both hands. “You’re absolutely right. Don’t need to tell me anything.” She got up from the table with a sigh.

He grinned and put his homework back down. “Good. ‘Cuz I won’t.”

She opened the pantry. “Any preference for dinner?”

“Naw. Whatever.”

She nodded and pulled out everything she needed for a simple rice dish. Neither spoke, but it was a comfortable silence. Lily chopped up vegetables as the rice cooked and Anthony kept working on his homework. The pan atop the stove hissed when the sauce and veggies finally made it in.

“Mom.”

She kept her eyes on the pan. “Hm?”

“Can I, um, borrow some money?”

“For what?”

“Er.” He mumbled something at the same time sauce dripped out of the pan. The resulting hiss drowned out his words.

“Ooh! Oops.” She laughed to herself. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Prom tickets,” he repeated, burying himself into his hoodie.

“Prom tickets?!” Lily looked back over her shoulder. “The very same prom you said was a waste of money? A frivolous milestone for the wealthy kids to show off? Something about being a breeding ground for teenage hormonal mistakes?”

He peeked up. “Ngk — _no._ I mean, okay, yes, I did say that,” he said. “But, er, turns out _some_ people find that sort of thing romantic.”

“Your date?”

“Yes, my — No! He’s not my date.” He frowned. “Well. Yes. Sort of?”

She turned to stare. “You’ve lost me.”

“Ugh. It’s complicated.” He sighed and dropped his pencil down on the table. “Okay, so Gabriel was being an asshole to Zira. Like usual. You know. Hate ‘im. I go over to intervene and Gabe is being all—” He flailed his hands in the air and raised his voice. “—‘You’ll never get a date to prom. You’re so fat and ugly.’” Lily couldn’t help but let out a disapproving tsk. “ _I know._ Fucking hate that guy. Well, I came over to lay into him — maybe punch him — but then Zira... Ngk.” He pulled his hood down over his face completely, awkwardly hiding his face.

Lily took a seat across from him. “Yes?” Anthony mumbled something inaudible through the cloth. “Zira did what, honey _?_ ”

 _“He said he already had a date!”_ Anthony exclaimed, cloth bunched up against his mouth by his hands. “I stood there like an idiot, stunned with the rest of them! Like, what the fuck, right? How could I not know about this?! And _then_ as soon as those fuckers leave, he turns to me and says, ‘Oh my god, Crowley, I need you to go to prom with me’!”

Lily took a moment. She blinked. “So, he...?”

Anthony let out a long groan and let the hood fall back down. Head now free, his hair stood up all over the place. “He asked me to pretend to be his boyfriend, mom!” he cried. “And now we have to fake date all the way until prom!”

“Oh.” She lowered her voice. “I see.”

He huffed. “You know what the worst part is?” She shook her head. “After word got out, people who’ve know us forever started telling me ‘ _congratulations’._ All ‘we knew it’d happen eventually’!” He frowned and fiddled with the cords of his hoodie. “I don’t want it to be fake.”

“And you didn’t tell him that?” she asked softly.

“How could I?” he retorted with a snort. “If he wanted me to be his actual date, wouldn’t he have asked that?”

“Then why were you smiling?”

“Because I’m an idiot,” he said at once, a slight smile back on his face. “And even if it’s fake, I loved getting to hold his hand today and I can’t wait to have a reason to dance with him.”

“Oh, Anthony, sweetie...”

“Uh.” Her son’s eyes suddenly grew comically large. “Mom.”

“Hm?”

He pointed behind her. “Dinner.”

She turned and gasped at the sight of way too much smoke coming from the pan. The smoke detector finally took the hint to start screaming as she leaped up from the chair. “Shit!”

***

> **Lily:** I don’t know how to tell you this
> 
> **Lily:** But
> 
> **Lily:** Your son has asked my son to be his fake boyfriend for prom
> 
> **Elizabeth:** My son?
> 
> **Elizabeth:** MY son???
> 
> **Lily:** Yes. The one that you have. With the books. You know.
> 
> **Elizabeth:** BOYFRIEND???
> 
> **Elizabeth:** PROM???
> 
> **Lily:** I really need to stress the FAKE boyfriend part
> 
> **Elizabeth:** WHY DON’T I KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS
> 
> **Lily:** It’s probably too late for this, but please don’t let your son break my son’s heart.
> 
> **Elizabeth:** THERE SHOULDN’T BE ANY HEARTS TO BREAK
> 
> **Elizabeth:** HE STILL CRIES OVER THE WINNIE THE POOH MOVIE
> 
> **Lily:** It was Aziraphale’s idea too.
> 
> **Elizabeth:** WHAT
> 
> **Elizabeth:** IS
> 
> **Elizabeth:** HAPPENING????

***

Aziraphale threw his bag onto the counter. “Oh my god, what happened?” Elizabeth spun around, spatula in hand, to meet his wide eyes. “Is it grandma?” he asked. “Don’t tell me it’s grandma. She was fine just last week.”

“What?” She grabbed the bowl so she could go back to stirring the batter. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re baking,” Aziraphale said. “You only bake when something’s happened.”

Elizabeth let out a laugh. “Nonsense! That’s not true. I love baking.”

“You’re the very definition of a stress baker, mother.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to respond when her husband strode in. It took only one glance over for him to freeze and drop his briefcase. “Good Lord,” he said. “What happened?”

She huffed and stopped stirring. “ _Nothing_ happened! Why does everyone think just because I’m _baking_ that must mean something happened?!” Her husband and son shared a look.

“She wants something,” Aziraphale whispered to his dad.

“Absolutely,” Robert replied.

“I heard that!” Elizabeth scolded, pointing a spatula at them both. “There is no funny business here! I’m making a cake because I want to. Keep this up and nobody gets any but me.” She spun around with a harumph. Pouring the cake batter, she said, “I do want to speak with you though, Aziraphale.” She turned enough to glare at him. “And don’t you dare say ‘I told you so.’”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Robert pat him on the shoulder. “Good luck, son.” He retrieved his briefcase and scuttled out of the room while Elizabeth put the pan in the oven. Aziraphale was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for her.

“Well?” he asked. “What is it I’ve done?”

“What do _you_ think you’ve done?”

“Uh.” He looked around the room and shrugged. “Nothing to be honest.”

“Rumor has it you have a date to prom,” Elizabeth said.

Aziraphale’s head snapped to look at her. “What! Who told you?!” She raised a brow and stared back. A look of understanding passed across his face before he turned away. “Ah. Ms. Crowley. Of course.”

“Were you planning to tell me you had a boyfriend?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“No.” He wrung his hands in his lap.

“So if you weren’t going to tell me, how were you planning to pay for your tickets? Were you going to sneak out in a suit and hope we didn’t notice?”

“I have money saved up. And, um... I don’t know.” His nervous gestures picked up speed.

“Obviously.” She stared him down. It was only a minute before Elizabeth cracked, sitting down next to him with a grin. “So! You and Anthony...how’d that happen?”

“I, uh...” Her son met her gaze for only a millisecond before flashing away. It was long enough for her to see the fearful anxiety on his face. “I asked him out. To prom. Just like you, uh, encouraged me to do.”

It was an impressive display of willpower that Elizabeth didn’t respond, _Not as a fake boyfriend, you idiot!_ But bluntness was more Lily’s parenting style. Elizabeth preferred a different tactic, one that never failed when she knew Aziraphale was lying: accept it with such over the top energy that the crushing guilt expels the truth right out of him. Lily had told her more than once that she could be a bit of a bitch.

So, instead, she smiled softly and said, “I’m _so proud_ of you.” His flinch was impossible to miss. “It took a lot of courage to confess your feelings. Not everyone is so brave. And now you’re dating! That’s wonderful! Just _think_ of how sad the end of your senior year would be had kept it to yourself until the very end... all that wasted time. Oh, I was a little upset that you didn’t tell me.” She clapped her hands together. “But now we can celebrate!”

“C-celebrate?” His plastered smile twitched. He shook his head. “Oh, that’s not necessary—”

“Of _course_ it is!” She grabbed him in a side hug. “Your first boyfriend! Your best friend! Your crush since practically _forever!_ Oh, don’t even _worry_ about using your summer job money for prom — your father and I will gladly take care of that. It’ll be a night to remember!” She squeezed him tight with a squeal. “Oh, I’m just so _happy_ for you, dear!” She let him go and laid both hands on her table. “You should take him someplace nice for your first date. Like that lovely Japanese place downtown! It’s a little on the pricey side, I know, but, oh, you should both have a nice night after all this time. You can use the card.”

“Oh, my. Mother. That’s...really, um, not necessary.”

“I _insist_ , dear! You must be so _relieved_ after being so brave. Not to mention you’ve both worked so hard this year. You deserve it.” She patted him on the cheek. She was laying it on thick and she knew it, but both boys _had_ worked very hard this year. Especially Anthony, who’d turned his grades around entirely. So that part was very much true.

“Thanks.” Aziraphale’s smile resembled more of a grimace. “Yay...”

***

> **Elizabeth:** I’m going to make him feel so guilty he’ll have to confess
> 
> **Lily:** Liz
> 
> **Lily:** Listen
> 
> **Lily:** I’ve met your son
> 
> **Lily:** He would fake date his way to the altar before admitting his feelings were real
> 
> **Elizabeth:** So would yours
> 
> **Elizabeth:** Literally right next to him
> 
> **Lily:** Yeah, that’s fair

***

Lily looked up from her phone at the sound of the front door.

“How was your date?” she asked. Anthony strode into the living room, face red and with wide eyes. She furrowed her brows. “Goodness. He didn’t snog you at the door, did he?” Anthony’s jaw fell open and then closed. She smirked. “That good, huh?”

“I think,” he said, “he likes me.” He fell into the armchair. “Like... _actually_ likes me.”

Lily stared for a moment, unsure what to say. “What happened?”

He met her gaze and said nothing. His face still in shock over whatever it was. Finally, he said, “I’m calling privacy on that one.”

She sighed. “ _Fine_. Getting me all intrigued for nothing.” She returned to her phone while her son continued to silently process the night. The itch to text Liz right away was strong, but it didn’t seem the time to be feverishly theorizing while he was still right here. She checked on him. Still hadn’t moved. “You are still _fake_ dating, right? Or was it a real date after all?”

His head shook left and right at the slowest speed she’d ever seen. “I have... no idea.” She quirked a brow. Before Lily could ask another question, he seemed to return to his usual energy. He suddenly leaned forward in the chair. “ _Mom._ ”

“What?”

“Shopping. Tomorrow. I need to be the sexiest thing at prom so he asks me out for real before someone else does.”

She grinned and sat up to attention, putting her phone down on the side table. “What did you have in mind?”

“Can you teach me that smokey eye you wore on your last date? What’s a good lip color—shit.” He looked down at his hands. “My nails suck. Should I get a manicure? Let’s get a manicure.” His eyes met hers again. “All out. Let’s do it. Can we? Please?” He pouted.

“It _has_ been a while since I’ve had a spa day... that does sound nice,” she mused. “But you know you don’t need to dress to the nines to impress if he already likes you, right?”

“Oh, I know.” Anthony grinned wickedly. “But if his plan is still to fake break up with me after prom, then I want it to be the hardest thing he’ll ever do. _Or._ ” He tilted his head high. “We can make me the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Lily snorted. “I don’t know who you got this attitude from,” she replied. “but I haven’t seen you this excited in a while, so I’m in.”

***

> **Lily:** Your son better watch out
> 
> **Lily:** Anthony is going all out
> 
> **Lily:** He’s bringing out the big guns
> 
> **Elizabeth:** Oh my
> 
> **Elizabeth:** At least it sounds like it’s going well over there
> 
> **Elizabeth:** I can’t get Aziraphale to leave his room
> 
> **Lily:** That bad?
> 
> **Elizabeth:** Quite
> 
> **Lily:** I was under the impression their date went well
> 
> **Elizabeth:** ...I’m going in.
> 
> **Lily:** Godspeed.

***

Elizabeth tapped on her son’s bedroom door. “Aziraphale? Dear? You alright?”

“Tickety-boo,” came the response.

“Right. Well.” That response only meant one thing, and it was very much _not_ tickety-boo. “I’m coming in,” she said. Her son was rolling to face away as soon as she entered the room. He pulled his blanket tightly around himself on the bed. Elizabeth sat on the edge in the middle. “Do you want to talk about it?” His blonde curls ruffling back and forth was enough to indicate a no. “Did you...” She hesitated, remembering that she wasn’t supposed to know they were fake boyfriends. “...break up?”

“No,” he said. “He was perfect. It was... good.” His voice sounded on the brink of shattering. Fragile.

“You don’t sound like it was.”

He didn’t reply or move. Elizabeth’s throat tightened. Maybe she shouldn’t have pushed so far. Maybe he just wasn’t ready. Maybe she should have just told him she knew. Maybe now was the time.

“Dear, listen, I—”

“I have to break up with him,” Aziraphale said.

“Sorry?” She couldn’t have heard that right. “Why?”

He rolled onto his back, hugging a pillow to his chest and staring at the ceiling. “I saw how people looked at us. We just don’t... look good together. He’s practically a model and I’m... frumpy.” He held the pillow even tighter. “I mean, we’re both of the very few queers in school with people we’ve known since preschool. Not a lot of options.” Elizabeth frowned as he continued. “But when we go to college, he’ll meet new people and, well... he won’t need to put up with me any longer. Understandable of course.” His eyes were wet when he finally met her gaze, a tight smile on his face. “But I won’t be able to bear hearing it from him.” He spoke with absolute certainty, as if it was inevitable. That even the thought of it was enough to kill him inside. It broke Elizabeth’s heart.

“Do you really think your best friend thinks that little of you?” she asked softly.

He frowned. “No. It’s just, romantically, it’d make sense he’d want someone more, ah, attractive. I’m not exactly a... a catch.”

“You are,” she said and, before he could protest, added, “And I’m _not_ just saying that because I’m your mother. Do you think Anthony is really so pretentious? That he cares that much about how he looks or the looks of who he’s with?”

“No, of course not. But—”

“But nothing,” she interrupted. “You’re fearing a version of Anthony that doesn’t exist. You’re making a choice for your relationship based on choices _you’re_ making for him in your head. I think Anthony — the _real_ one we actually know — would prefer to make his own choice in the matter.” Her son’s lip quivered, but she pressed on. “From what I can tell, this is about you thinking _you_ don’t deserve _him._ ”

“I don’t,” he choked out, dropping his pillow and bringing both hands to his face. As he sobbed, she pulled him up and into a hug. He hid his head in her shoulder, shoulders trembling with each new falling tear. “I lied. I lied to him. I’m lying to him every day.”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” She hugged him tighter. “Everyone makes mistakes. We lie when we think the truth will hurt us more. But I think it’s safe to say the lie is hurting more now. Isn’t it?” He sniffled and nodded into her shirt. She kissed his forehead. “I think instead of breaking up with him, you tell him the truth. Then _both_ of you can decide what to do.”

Another sniffle. “What if he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore?”

“What has Anthony ever done that makes you think he’d do that?” she asked. He had no response. “ _Exactly_.” Elizabeth pulled back, forcing him to look at her. She wiped away her son’s tears. “The longer you wait, the worse it’ll hurt.” She smiled gently. “Rest first so you’re not in a tizzy about it, but don’t overthink it.” Seeing his eyes get distant, she bopped him on the nose. “I can see you already doing it!”

He chuckled as she gave him a tissue. “Thanks mom.”

“It’s what I’m here for.” She gave him another hug. “Get some sleep.”

***

> **Lily:** Is Aziraphale all right?
> 
> **Elizabeth:** He will be

***

“Oh, don’t you look dashing!” Elizabeth crooned as she opened the door.

Anthony smiled. “Thanks Mrs. Fell.”

Lily popped up behind him, waving a camera high in the air. “I came for photos!” she proclaimed. “Bought a new one just for the occasion.” She squealed in excitement and ushered him inside.

Anthony’s face grew red as he pleaded, “Mom, _please_.”

“Cut me some slack! I didn’t even think you were going to _go_ to prom. Now my only son is going for their first _real_ date and with his _real_ boyfriend. I have to capture the moment!” Lily replied with a pout. Elizabeth giggled.

Anthony tugged on his collar as he entered the living room. He ran a hand through his hair as he surveyed the room. “Where’s Zira?”

“Probably changing his bowtie for the hundredth time,” Elizabeth answered with a smile, strolling over to the stairs. “Azira, honey!” she yelled. “Your _boyfriend_ is here!” Anthony straightened and smoothed down the front of his suit at the sound of footsteps rushing down to meet him. He grinned as soon as he caught sight of Aziraphale in his white tux. His bowtie was a deep navy with gold constellations. It matched Anthony’s tux perfectly. Aziraphale stopped at the bottom of the stairs and gaped.

“What do you think?” Anthony asked, spinning around. He made a point of showing off his glimmering gold heels, which Aziraphale glanced at only briefly. He struggled to escape from staring at Anthony’s face. Lily had helped with his makeup choices (and talked him down a level from “sexiest man at the dance” to avoid having to have a chat with chaperones about school appropriateness).

“Oh, good lord,” Aziraphale whispered.

“Thanks,” Anthony said with a cocky grin. “You look good too, angel.” A light blush bloomed across Aziraphale’s face as Anthony took one of his hands. Anthony brought it to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss.

_Click!_

“Moooom!” he yelled, spinning around.

“Oooh, that was a good one,” Lily cooed.

“Let me see!” Elizabeth said, rushing to look over Lily’s shoulder. “Oh, that _is_ precious. We must have that printed.”

“Oh, come _on_ ,” Anthony whined. He clasped Aziraphale’s hand and smiled. “Let’s get out of here. I have flowers in the car.”

“From your garden?”

“Only the best for you.”

Aziraphale beamed. “Thank you, darling.” He leaned up on his toes for a kiss.

_Click!_

Anthony groaned. “Okay, that’s it! We’re going now! Bye!” He put a hand to Aziraphale’s back and guided him along to the door.

“Oh, don’t be a spoilsport!” Lily called. “I need more photos!”

“Be home before ten!” Elizabeth added.

“We will!” Aziraphale answered at the same time Anthony said, “How about never?” Aziraphale scolded Anthony, which was shortly followed laughter. After the door closed, both women turned back to the camera to admire the photo. Both boys’ mouths were curled up in a smile as their lips met. The light from the sun setting behind them in the window shone as if lighting them on purpose.

Anthony looked the happiest she’d seen him since the divorce. She blinked out a tear and quickly wiped her eyes.“Oh, they look _perfect_ together, don’t they?”

“They really do,” Elizabeth agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it as much I liked writing it! I had originally been planning for them to get together after prom, but Aziraphale just kind of up having being attacked by his own feelings before then lol So a perfect, actual prom date instead! 😊
> 
>  _Pssst..._ I also draw and write my own stuff! 🥰
> 
>  **Twitter:** <https://twitter.com/delusioninabox>  
> **Tumblr:** <https://delusioninabox.tumblr.com>  
> **WattPad:** <https://www.wattpad.com/user/delusioninabox>


End file.
